After watching the debacle called RA One and claiming
temporary insanity for the same, I now feel that the disaster that is SRK needs
to revive to its former K-K-K-K..KKKiran glory… So here are a dozen tips which will hopefully help
SRK find the lost tag of Baadshah of Bollywood once again…
1) Change
his name to Salmaan Khan
2) Make
sure Rajni Saar is part of all his future movies…
3) Visit
every house in every village in India, creating a propaganda against Salmaan
Khan
4) While
shooting, always be on save-d-ass mode…
5) Get Team
Anna to promote his future movies
6) Produce
Marathi movies in support of Shiv Sena and MNS violence. Create RAOne type avatars
of Raj and Bal Thackeray for a Playstation game, depicting them as superheros …or
supervillians… BAL.One and RAJ.One
7) Bribe
every Indian to watch his next film…take help of Suresh Kalmadi and A Raja for
the same..
8) Create
fake Twitter and Facebook accounts and write great reviews of his movies
9) Thrash
Metallica's equipment in concerts so that more people are forced to watch
Ra.One
10) Agree to
do a family's chores for a week for free if they watch the movie; once in 3D
and twice in 2D
11) Get
Kolkata Knight Riders Team to wear RAOne/G.One attires for all IPL matches…
12) Declare
World War III and threaten that the only way to avoid the war is if all the
world citizens’ end up each buying a ticket of RA.One in both 2D and 3D
versions… get Digvijay Singh and Parvez Musharaf to support him…
Note: All these tips
have been written with a serious heartache and intend no sarcasm to the human
race and fans of SRK… Wishing him luck and another Chak De for Don 2…
For the not so faint hearted people who have managed to
watch RA.One and survive the ordeal…. I salute and bow to u in deep respect...both
at the same time, and leave you with the following RA.One jokes I found on the
net*…
·
Govt has declared 26th October as a public
holiday to celebrate the end of Ra.One promotion!
·
Govt of India just announced Rs 50,000 relief
to all those who watched Ra.One. Rs.25,000 for those who left atinterval.
·
rocin, Disprin, Combiflam, Adol Panadol,
Diclomol and all painkiller out-of-stock after Ra.One release.
·
Salman to SRK after watching Ra.One:
"Mujh par ekehsaan karna, dubara aisi movie mat banana"
·
Even Ra.mu doesn’t want to waste time by
watchin Ra.one!
·
Ra.One gives more pain than a wife - HARD TO
BELIVE BUT TRUE.
·
Get Ra.One under Lokpal bill…! Put people who
made such movie behind bars.
·
Ra.One was shown on an airplane. People still
walked out.
·
RA1 is like Titanic. Massive size, unmatched
luxury, same old story, and, at last, a total waste of money and complete Fail.
*Source: http://www.newsbullet.in/movies/25-more/20394-jokes-on-srk-as-raone-inspires-online-wisecracks
