The utter nonsense movie review- Agneepath

"Naam: Vijay Chauhan

Vijay Deenanath Chauhan... Pura Naam

Baap kaa Naam: Deenanath Chauhan

Gaon: Mandawa..."

Let me start by saying that i haven’t watched the original Agneepath...so I aint gonna compare this "reconstruction" effort with the original one...However, having actually spent money on my ticket this time and watching it in a theatre... i feel quite disappointed...

A movie which had d potential to be a cult remake of our times gets spoiled with some sloppy dialogues and ending... perhaps some of it has to do with the that Karan Johar touch i guess...

The first half of the movie is crisply edited. The film starts with Vijay-the-angry and talented kid-getting into a fight- Masterji’s  (his father) usual hindi-filmy-style-gyaan etc. It moves on to showcases the false maligning of Vijay’s dad (Masterji) ; his brutal killing and public hanging by the local Gunda- Kancha Cheema. There is a hint that Cheema has an old rivalry with the Masterji,. But nothing is clear, Masterji the eternal Gandhi-wadi is of course against Cheema’s plans to convert the village to a drug producing SEZ. 

Surprisingly, the Masterji, who has an impeccable reputation in the village, gets labeled as a rapist within minutes by the entire village, which supports and relishes Cheema’s brutal antics on the Masterji.  It also shows the birth of the ‘actual’ Vijay Deenanath Chauhan- one who will later comes to rule the Mumbai underworld… though the story never shows how the child takes an oath to seek revenge etc- a Hindi film usual funda which gets edited out or something..or possibly slips the directors mind…

Things to watch out in the first half: 

1)      Rauf Lala’s (read Rishi Kapoor’s) acting...he is always a pleasure to watch-even as the underworld don selling almost anything- from girls, to mutton to cocaine.. If u talk about diversifying your business- surely u need to learn it from him…

2)      Kancha’S grotesqueness- he manages to not age at all in the 15 years span... BTW- Sanju Baba- cool tattoos…liked it… J

3)      Some forgettable romantic songs: absolutely no idea what they were doing in the movie- romantic songs should be banned from revenge dramas… the flex banner showing VDC, his sister and mother is total No-No senti…. *Please Gwad*

4)      Priyanka Chopra-  not sure why she signed the movie, except her cleavage very little of her was on display in the entire movie…however IMHAO she surely makes every Indian wish that all “desi girls” wore saree all d time.. Hotness Quotient- SUPER HOT…

5)      Rest of the first half- forget it…nothing worth remembering…

Second Half:

Highlight- starts with super dud performance by Katrina Kaif in Cheekni Chameli… OK SHE IS BEAUTIFUL…but she can’t dance… and any idea why she is doing item numbers? Anyone?

The second half rambles on, tears flow, raw emotions get displayed… and more tears and sobs *sigh*… then comes the blood and sweat…  

Some half baked action sequences display the lack of planning by the Don, the Police, the Home Ministry the wannabe Mumbai-Ka-Don Kancha and the new Don VDC….  And believe me- looking at the second half, you would be amazed, how a guy with such superlative brain to overthrow the most powerful Don (Rauf Lala) from Mumbai displays such immaturity to step into Mandawa- wants to fight the entire village alone, leaves his mother and sister unprotected, gets married when he shouldn’t … Guess, VDC needs to watch more Marlon Brando movies and read a few Mario Puzo books…..

If I was the Don, I would leave the job of revenge etc to my team of most trusted lieutenants, right? VDC just defies rationale, logic, planning and anything close to sanity…

Ofcourse violent action sequences follows, and the Hindi film Hero resurfaces- multiple stabs… gun shots, skull cracking hits fail to not only kill him, but he manages to utter the bachpan-mein-papa-ka-sikhaya-hua -poetry  to gain strength to seek the revenge… shamefully old Kancha more than manhandles him thoughout the fight…

I was quite disappointed by the end of the movie… Hindi film heroes never learn…. They never show rationale… and they seldom ever can keep emotions away from anything they do… the “mere shaadi ke fund” wala dialogue was the death knell for the entire movie… I couldn’t believe such exceptional acting talents of Rishi Kapoor, Sanjay Dutt, Priyanka Chopra and most importantly Hritik Roshan gets wasted in an attempted movie remake should have been so much more than such a 3 hr disappointment…

I recommend you watch the movie- but only for Hritik's acting...

Ratings:

1)      Hritik- 10/5 (kudos to ur acting)

2)      SanjuBaba- 7/5 (awesum makeup and tattoo- liked d yellow teeth also-was it tobacco?)

3)      Priyanka Chopra- 100/10 (for looking beautiful throughout and not disturbing much)

4)      Chikni Chameli- 1/5(u look better in normal roles-item songs-leave it to Malaika and Yana Gupta)

5)      Rishi Kapoor- 5/5 ( awesum marketing skills- run some of our PSUs for us plz)

6)      Story- 1.5/5 ( tips to scriptwriter- learn to play Chess-wud help)

7)      Direction- err… rating withheld

PS: Watched this movie 1^st Day Matinee Show.. apologies for not writing a review immediately, incase u have spent money on it- jus be happy that it wasn’t RA.One….