Dozen tips for SRK… what he should do next...

Is official now: you need to be a complete retard to watch the movie RAOne…and unfortunately, dis Sunday, I was a perfect example of one (retard)…

After watching the debacle called RA One and claiming temporary insanity for the same, I now feel that the disaster that is SRK needs to revive to its former K-K-K-K..KKKiran glory…  So here are a dozen tips which will hopefully help SRK find the lost tag of Baadshah of Bollywood once again…

1)    Change his name to Salmaan Khan

2)    Make sure Rajni Saar is part of all his future movies…

3)    Visit every house in every village in India, creating a propaganda against Salmaan Khan

4)    While shooting, always be on save-d-ass mode…

5)    Get Team Anna to promote his future movies

6)    Produce Marathi movies in support of Shiv Sena and MNS violence. Create RAOne type avatars of Raj and Bal Thackeray for a Playstation game, depicting them as superheros …or supervillians… BAL.One and RAJ.One

7)    Bribe every Indian to watch his next film…take help of Suresh Kalmadi and A Raja for the same..

8)    Create fake Twitter and Facebook accounts and write great reviews of his movies

9)    Thrash Metallica's equipment in concerts so that more people are forced to watch Ra.One

10)  Agree to do a family's chores for a week for free if they watch the movie; once in 3D and twice in 2D

11) Get Kolkata Knight Riders Team to wear RAOne/G.One attires for all IPL matches…

12) Declare World War III and threaten that the only way to avoid the war is if all the world citizens’ end up each buying a ticket of RA.One in both 2D and 3D versions… get Digvijay Singh and Parvez Musharaf to support him…

Note: All these tips have been written with a serious heartache and intend no sarcasm to the human race and fans of SRK… Wishing him luck and another Chak De for Don 2…

For the not so faint hearted people who have managed to watch RA.One and survive the ordeal…. I salute and bow to u in deep respect...both at the same time, and leave you with the following RA.One jokes I found on the net*…

·         Govt has declared 26th October as a public holiday to celebrate the end of Ra.One promotion!

·         Govt of India just announced Rs 50,000 relief to all those who watched Ra.One. Rs.25,000 for those who left atinterval.

·         rocin, Disprin, Combiflam, Adol Panadol, Diclomol and all painkiller out-of-stock after Ra.One release.

·         Salman to SRK after watching Ra.One: "Mujh par ekehsaan karna, dubara aisi movie mat banana"

·         Even Ra.mu doesn’t want to waste time by watchin Ra.one!

·         Ra.One gives more pain than a wife - HARD TO BELIVE BUT TRUE.

·         Get Ra.One under Lokpal bill…! Put people who made such movie behind bars.

·         Ra.One was shown on an airplane. People still walked out.

·         RA1 is like Titanic. Massive size, unmatched luxury, same old story, and, at last, a total waste of money and complete Fail.

*Source: http://www.newsbullet.in/movies/25-more/20394-jokes-on-srk-as-raone-inspires-online-wisecracks